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Funny Jokes

Buy A Talking Dog

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

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“Sure do,” the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says,

“So, what’s your story?”

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The Lab looks up and says,

“Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young pup.

I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

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In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,

Sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders,

Because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

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“I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger.

So I decided to settle down.

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I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security,

Wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

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“I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed.

He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

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“Ten dollars,” the guy says.

“Ten dollars?

This dog is amazing!

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Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??”

“Because the dog’s a damn liar.

He never did any of that.

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