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Clean Jokes

A man walks up to the bar


A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

The man says, “I’ll have a beer” and turns to the ostrich.

“What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too” says the ostrich.

The bartender pours the beer and says “That will be $3.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

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The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says “I’ll have a beer,” and the ostrich says “I’ll have the same.”

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.

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“The usual?” asks the bartender.

“Well, it’s close to last call, so I’ll have a large Scotch” says the man.

“Same for me” says the ostrich.

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“That will be $7.20” says the bartender.

Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

The bartender can’t hold back his curiosity any longer.

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“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the bartender.

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“Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right! Whether it’s a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

“That’s fantastic!” says the bartender. “You are a genius! Oh, one other thing sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

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The man replies, “Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs.”

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