Clean Jokes
A man whose wife was pregnant
A man whose wife was pregnant couldn’t bear to be in the delivery room at the time of the birth.
So he thought he’d ring up later to see if it had come yet.
He rang up and the nurse said “it’s a girl but theres another one on the way”
he rang again later and the nurse said “it’s another girl but they’re still coming!”
He rang once more and the nurse said “this one’s a boy but there’s still another coming!”
By this time he couldn’t stand it any more, his nerves were shot and he could barely dial the numbers,
so he went to the pub and got blisteringly drunk.
An hour later he was 3 sheets to the wind and more anxious than ever, but decided to finally call.
As he was dialling the hospital, hands shaking, he accidentally dialled the cricket results line.
They picked up and he asked nervously “…how many did we get mate?”
The person promptly replies “198 all out…. and the last one was a duck
A old man and old woman are sitting
Grandpa was telling his young grandson
A husband went to the police station
She opens it to a guy
Johnny is taking a shower with his mother
