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Clean Jokes

Jesus And Moses

Jesus and Moses are relaxing on a boat and talking about the good old days.

The subject of miracles comes up, and they decide to see if they can still perform them.

“It’s been almost 4000 years since I did this one” Moses says, then raises his arms.

The water parts, revealing the floor of the lake.

Jesus claps His hands and says “Good one! It’s only been about 2000 years since I did this” and steps off the boat onto the water, and sinks into the lake.

Moses parts the water and throws a line down to the soaking wet Jesus, and helps Him back onto the boat.

Jesus says “That was embarrassing. I guess I need to clear my mind and focus.”

Jesus closes His eyes, takes a deep, slow breath, then steps off the boat again.

Again He sinks to the bottom of the lake.

Moses parts the water and helps Jesus up again.

Moses says “Hey, maybe we should just head back and You can try again tomorrow” but Jesus says “No, I can do this.”

He mouths a silent prayer, winks at the sky, and again sinks when He steps off the boat.

Moses parts the water a third time and helps Jesus up.

Jesus looks shaken and looks at His feet, then smiles.

“I know what’s wrong now.

Last time I didn’t have these damn holes in my feet.”


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