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Funny Jokes

A Woman Has A Vision Of God

“I will answer one question for you.” The woman thinks and then asks

“How long will I live?”

You will live to be 101.” God answers and disappears.

The woman wakes up thrilled and after thinking decides to make some life changes.

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The first thing she did was dye her hair she always wanted to be a blonde.

Then she changes her diet and works out and losses 50 pounds.

She has plastic surgery with a tummy tuck, melons implants, lip injections, nose job, and face lift.

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She is thrilled at the new her and is ready for a long life.

As she is crossing the street a week later she is hit by a bus and killed.

She is very upset as she gets to heaven.

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She looks for God and when she finds him she yells at him

“What The hell God? You said I would live to be 101!”

“Who are you?” God asks.

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“Linda, Linda Smith.”

“Oh Linda! I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you!”

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