A guy’s partner called him late at night worried that he wasn’t home yet
Partner: Where have you been? It’s near 3 am. And you sound very tense. What’s happened?
Guy: Oh God! I’m in the car.
But somebody has stolen the steering wheel! I don’t know what to do. On top of that it’s raining like crazy and the car is getting flooded.
Partner: Are you drunk again?
Guy: Just a few beers. But that has nothing to do with this. Can you call someone?
Partner: Ok, listen to me. Just shut up and close your eyes. First, breathe.
Partner: Now, get out of the passenger seat and go sit in the driver’s seat.
Partner: Also, don’t drive, I’m coming to get you. (Drunk driving is bad, folks!)
Partner: Finally, stop peeing. It’s not rained in three months.