He goes to see the doctor

A man named John is feeling unwell, so he goes to see the doctor about it.

The doctor tells him, “Well, it must be your diet. What sort of greens do you eat?”

John replies, “Well, I only eat peas. I hate all other green foods.”

The doctor looks at him and says, “Well, there’s your problem. All those peas are clogging up your system. You’ll have to give them up.”

John asks the doctor, “How long should I give them up for? I mean, I really like eating peas.”

The doctor replies, shaking his head, “Well, forever I’m afraid. If you don’t, you’ll get sick again.”

John is shocked by the doctor’s suggestion, but he decides to give it a go.

Sure enough, he starts feeling loads better after a couple of weeks and realizes that he’ll never eat peas again.

Anyway, one night, years later, he’s sitting in a bar having a conversation with friends.

One of them says, “I’d love a cigarette, because I haven’t had a smoke in four years. My wife persuaded me to give them up.”

Another guy says, “I haven’t played a game of golf in three years, because it cost me my first marriage. So I gave it up.”

Then John says, “That’s nothing. I haven’t had a pea in six years!”

When he heard this, the barman jumps up and screams, “Okay, everyone who can’t swim, grab a table!”