A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and,...
An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: “All you need to have done is one good deed, and we...
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor. “You have to help me, I hurt all over”,...
Doctor: “I have some bad news and some very bad news.” Patient: “Well, might as well give me the bad news first.” Doctor: “The lab called...
Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St....
Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering – have you ever cheated on me?” Becky replies,...
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday’s sermon he told them, “If one more person confesses to adultery,...
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one....
An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, “Ma’am did...
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear...
A bright young executive had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech firm. The CEO who was stepping down met with...
This man is at work one day when he notices that his male co- worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be...
Little Johnny and Susie, each five years old, were playing house. They both decided it was time to get married. So Little Johnny went to Susie’s...
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three large bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his...
A man goes to the confessional and begins “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” “What is your sin, my son?” the priest asks back. ”Well,”...
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning,...
An elderly woman went into the doctor`s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I`d like to have some birth-control pills.” Taken...
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell...
A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: “Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week....
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened to come by with his...