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John and his wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself. “You...
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. They are enjoying their time, While talking with each other, The woman drops a bit...
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site: Paddy says to Murphy. “I’m gonna have the day off, I’m gonna pretend I’m mad!” He climbs...
An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints. “I see spots before my eyes,” he said. “It’s due to old age,” said the doctor....
Two men were waiting at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them started complaining about his family problems. After listening for a...
The wife ask her husband the three magical words. Wife: Darling, it was such a hard day. Can you tell me the three magical words that...
An old lady comes in for her medical check-up: “Doctor Ribbit, you remember how you warned me that I should avoid going up and down stairs...
Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited: “Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to...
A man well into his seventies asks his wife: “Mary, doesn’t it make you sad when you see me running after those young girls sometimes?” “Not...
Little Johnny is riding with his Uncle Bob in his new Mercedes. Johnny points at the star emblem on the front and asks, “Uncle Bob, what’s...
A school girl approaches her mother and announces, “Mommy, I know where babies come from!” “And where is that?” her mother asks. “Well, Mommy and Daddy...
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The...
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing...
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping cabin on a trans-continental...
A woman goes to a doctor named Dr. Wong. “Doctor, I can’t get a date, no one will go out with me.” In a very thick...
A man eagerly waited at the train station to pick up his mother-in-law, who was visiting for the first time in a while. After spotting her,...
Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some...
A little old lady answered a knock on her door one day to find a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the...
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned...
A teacher asks the kids in her 5th grade class: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ Little Larry says: ‘I wanna start...
