A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold....
Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80 year-old said, “The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to...
A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, “Honey, I have great news! We’re pregnant, and we’re having twins!” The...
The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb,...
One night a husband and wife were sleeping and suddenly the wife woke up. “Honey, wake up! I think there’s a burglar downstairs, and it sounds...
A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom. When she opened the door she found her...
The dentist pulls out a Novocain needle to give the man a shot, so he can extract the man’s tooth. ‘No way! No needles. I hate...
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you...
A wife is having lovemaking with her husband’s best friend one day. Soon the phone rings, so she answers it. “Yes… uh, huh… OK… yes… bye.”...
Two fishermen, Paul and Jim, decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favorite sport. After fishing for 4 hours at various places around...
A married man goes into a confessional and says to his priest “I had an affair with a woman… almost.” The priest says, “What do you...
Two factory workers were talking. “I know how to get some time off from work” said the man. “How do you think you will do that?”...
A woman went into a bank to get a check cashed, but she didn’t have an account with them. When the teller her asked for some...
A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP… BUMP… BUMP… behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes out...
One fine morning Dean came early into the office and caught his subordinate, Martin kissing his secretary. Angered, Dean screamed: “Martin, do I pay you good...
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked...
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, “I was ironing...
A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another fellow and immediately notices that the guy has a very large disposable Bic cigarette lighter....
A man goes into a restaurant where all the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and...
A man runs to the doctor and says: “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks: How long was...