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A woman went to see her psychiatrist. “I’m really concerned,” she said. “The other day I found my daughter and the little boy next door together,...
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he...
Mary Clancy goes up to Father McGuire after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?” She...
Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn’t gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter constantly urges her to get back into...
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The...
Little Johnny wanted $100 for a new bike and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter asking for...
One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing. He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, and thought that it was...
Guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey. Monkey jumps onto the table, grabs the cue ball and stuffs it into his mouth and...
Two hunters are walking through a forest looking for deer. When all of a sudden, a giant bear jumps out and scares the shit out of...
A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy who had been looking out the window...
A man meets a woman at a bar and asks her. “Would you have lovemaking with me for 10 million dollars?” Without skipping a beat she...
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true. “I’m...
A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were heavily laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies....
A man is skydiving, enjoying his free-fall, when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute. So he pulls on...
The dentist pulls out a Novocain needle to give the man a shot, so he can extract the man’s tooth. ‘No way! No needles. I hate...
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted:...
One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who...
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon...
A wealthy man and his wife are going to a function, so they decide to give the butler the night off. However, a couple of hours...
An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, “Sir, what is that on your shoulder?” The old farmer said, “That...
