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I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A...
The male teacher in a girls’ school asked the science class: “Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its...
Two guys were building a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and...
A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree...
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs...
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!”...
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and...
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a...
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, ‘What are you doing?’ She answers, ‘I’m moving to Nevada ....
Two hunters are in the woods in deer season. The morning hunt over, they head back to camp together. As they make their way along the...
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his...
A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and,...
An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: “All you need to have done is one good deed, and we...
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor. “You have to help me, I hurt all over”,...
Doctor: “I have some bad news and some very bad news.” Patient: “Well, might as well give me the bad news first.” Doctor: “The lab called...
Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St....
Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering – have you ever cheated on me?” Becky replies,...
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday’s sermon he told them, “If one more person confesses to adultery,...
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one....
