A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, “Don’t take a step further.” She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall...
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up...
One day Bill Clinton was out jogging and he accidentally tripped and fell off a bridge into the cold water below. Three 10 year old boys...
A woman goes away on vacation and has her brother watch her cat. On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things...
Two English butchers, who hated each other, were doing business across the street from each other for ten years. For the full ten years they always...
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were...
When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. ‘I want to talk about...
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the...
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a...
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was...
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to...
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year...
A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, “Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my melons get...
A man was having marital problems. So he went to his shrink. The shrink says, “When you get home, throw down your briefcase, run to her,...
A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to...
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks, “Ma’am, what do you want with arsenic?” The lady...
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, “I was sitting behind a big woman...
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider...
Morton was reading the paper after breakfast when he came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player known...
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop....