A lady went to a psychiatrist complaining of a terrible phobia. “Every time I lay down on my bed I get this terrible fear that there...
A city kid went to his grandpa’s farm for the weekend. He tagged along as Pa did what had to be done around the place, taking...
A drunk staggers into a diner and orders a couple of eggs. The waiter, suspecting that they’ve run out, goes back to question the chef. “Hey,...
There’s a couple that has been dating for a while. As much as he wants to, she won’t sleep with him, because she’s saving her purity...
Little Johnny, 6 years old, gets home from school. He had his first family planning lesson at school. His mother, is very interested and she asks,...
A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day. She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His...
The elderly lady is in the Supermarket and starts throwing the frozen veggies on the floor, so the Manager asks if he can help. “I’m looking...
Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench. Ethel said, “You know, Mabel, I’ve been reading this ‘make...
A wife was in bed with her lover, When she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk...
A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, ‘I would like to buy some cyanide’...
A woman goes to the store to buy a parrot as a family pet. As she walks into the pet shop, she asks the owner, “How...
Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa, are you going to take that new pills?” Grandpa looks at...
Little Johnny spends a rare weekend with his dad: “Son, this is your weekend, have anything you want. Ask and ye shall receive.” After a little...
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man...
A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, “I have a parrot that will...
An 80-year-old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says, “I want to get a tattoo”. The artist hesitantly replies, “Well,...
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. “I’ll give you...
The first-grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children...
As a woman passes her daughter’s closed bedroom door she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from inside. Opening the door, she saw her daughter with...
An Irishman is in the bar, drinking a pint of Guinness. A lady next To him says, “What a coincidence, I am having Guinness too.” Irish...