A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a...
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their shorts, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers...
A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. “What do you think...
Three women have just entered heaven, and are standing in front of an angel and St. Peter to find out what kinds of special privileges they’ll...
A lady went to a psychiatrist complaining of a terrible phobia. “Every time I lay down on my bed I get this terrible fear that there...
Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench. Ethel said, “You know, Mabel, I’ve been reading this ‘make...
A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, ‘I would like to buy some cyanide’...
An 80-year-old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says, “I want to get a tattoo”. The artist hesitantly replies, “Well,...
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. “I’ll give you...
A boss says to his secretary. “We are travelling abroad for the week so make arrangements.” The secretary makes call to her husband. “My boss and...