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Upon reaching 65, Bill decided to retire. After having him under foot for A few months, his wife became very agitated with him. She suggested he...
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:”I would very much like...
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to...
Death: It’s your time. give me your hand Blonde: No! i know that if i don’t touch you then I’ll never die! Death: Holy shit! You...
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet’s...
A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she’d do. The...
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard,“Can you tell me how old...
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked. “Well, I can think of...
When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the...
A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, “Morris,...
It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport on the other end...
An engineering student found a frog on his way to class. “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess” the frog said. The student...
Three women were talking about their love lives. The first said, “My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated.” The second said, “Mine is like...
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with tiny ladders...
The very snobbish wife was discussing the subject of Christmas presents with her maid. “Now what about the butler” the rich woman said? “A set of...
I went for a Chinese last night and got chatting to the waiter. He told me he lived in Japan during the war and was a...
One day a man was walking through the forest when he encountered a goblin. The goblin shouted at the man and said: “Foolish mortal, you trespass...
Little Billy was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus five, that son of a b_tch is seven. Three plus six,...
A little old lady checked into a hotel on her 70th birthday, but she was a bit lonely. She thought, “I’ll call one of those men...
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client. “Saul, I have some good news and I have...
