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Three contractors were submitting estimates to replace a large amount of fencing in a large country house. The estate manager got them all together so that...
The 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me: “Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?” “Erm, I don’t...
An elderly couple named Bill and Helen went to the county fair each year. One year, a man at the fair was giving helicopter rides for...
A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, “Now, now young lad, I think...
Two guys were playing golf. On the tee, Jack hit his shot way left of the fairway in some buttercups. Bob proceeded to hit and his...
A bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a pure and I don’t know anything about make love. Can you explain it to me first?”...
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and...
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you...
A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house....
Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when he swung a little too hard and sent the ball through his neighbors window. Dylan...
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and...
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled...
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her...
There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash, however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done...
A woman was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to which the husband answered, “What do I look like to you? A landscaper?!” Next time...
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies,...
A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give...
A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes and bang all 150 hens. The farmer is...
Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two...
